


Diary of a Tevinter Mercenary

by coveredinfeels



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Crack, Diary/Journal, M/M, POV Outsider, The Big Damn Rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 02:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6034873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coveredinfeels/pseuds/coveredinfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To do list: kidnap a Magister on behalf of some other Magister, get paid, get drunk</p>
<p>Should be easy, right?</p>
<p>Alternatively: certain events of the Trespasser epilogue slides, as experienced by a Tevinter mercenary who really ought to have gone for the smuggling job. The smuggling job would have been a piece of <i>cake</i> compared to this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Diary of a Tevinter Mercenary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DimeStoreMystery (wrightgotwronged)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrightgotwronged/gifts).



**13 Eluviesta**

Finally, a job worth my time. Some pompous windbag of a magister wishes for some assistance with his political rival-- namely, he wants said political rival knocked over the head and stuffed in a sack for delivery to an address in the country where I'm sure no blood magic is going to go on ever.

If his information is right, this guy has gone soft, southern sympathies or something, and is fool enough to travel by himself on his jaunts southward to meet-- well, whoever, the magister started ranting about traitors and blasphemers and the rise of the empire, the usual, and I pretty much stopped listening at that point. Shouldn't be too difficult to lay an ambush, but I'll take a full crew, just in case. Better safe than sorry.

**26 Eluviesta**

We have reached the ambush point. All going smoothly-- there's little traffic on these roads, plenty of cover, nobody to call for help and he's never going to see us coming.

I almost pity the poor fuck.

**28 Eluviesta**

Eight dead. Five of those twice over. I _hate_ necromancers. Still, I suppose it's fewer ways to split the take. Soft target, my arse. Magister Windbag's not paying us nearly enough for this one, but our target had a couple of shiny pendants on him that he offered in return for letting him go. Very expensive family heirlooms, apparently.

Like I was really going to let him go. Magisters sure can be stupid sometimes.

Windbag didn't say anything about his jewellery. So I kept them; ought to bump up our pay nicely even after Skinny Tal takes his share for fencing them for us. In the meantime, using them to light my tent in the evenings, because they do glow pretty.

**29 Eluviesta**

Add one more to the death toll. Sure, Bris was a stupid fucker at the best of times, but how much fucking magebane does it take to keep this guy down?

He also talks too fucking much, even drugged up. Mother says this hat makes me look _rakish_ , and green _is_ my colour, no matter what he says.

Also starting to suspect he's mispronouncing my name on purpose.

**2 Molioris**

I haven't been making diary entries because I've been too busy occupied keeping my captive _captive_ without actually killing him. Nearly to the drop-off point, thank fuck. Saw some tracks nearby but one of the scouts spotted a couple of elves hiding out by the abandoned mill. Probably just escaped slaves. Any other time, I'd haul them into the nearest town and check for bounties, but I need to get rid of my guest as soon as possible. Nearly out of magebane. He keeps throwing it up, claims to have a delicate stomach but I believe that as much as I believe he got it on my boots _accidentally_.

**4 Molioris**

Um, I guess I'm in charge of the crew now? Sort of a promotion, only it's just me left, because Caius says he's going home where the most dangerous thing is his grandma when she gets drunk, and the others are all very very very dead, and also I don't think I want to be a mercenary anymore. Magister Pavus says he spared us because he knew we were only there to look after the horses, and also as a warning to others.

He smiled a lot. I don't remember too much about the rest of the conversation.

Magister Pavus gave me a message to take to the man who hired us, but I didn't think I could repeat it because my mother didn't raise me to cuss, so he wrote it down for me, which was kind of him. He also made me promise not to tell anyone about the half-dragon qunari warrior he has ensorcelled to fight for him. I definitely won't because the thing with the bees sounded really bad but I will write it down here for ~~postir~~ ~~postar~~ later: all the rumours are _true_.


End file.
